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My Meandering Response

Amanda Adair

 

After a screening of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
            [Thank you Charlie Kaufman.]

 

I feel stranded.
Lost in surroundings unfamiliar to me.
A darkness creeping in.
Beliefs put to the ultimate

Test . . . test.
Can anyone hear me?
I need help!
Wait! That one memory!
Fading…

Like poor, pathetic, pitiable Joel, I struggle to hold on
To the one good memory
That I yearn to remember, to keep me sane.

Getting rid of me?!
I will show you!
How dare you . . .
But wait!

Do I regret this snap decision?
Why should I?
The only problem—

Memory is fading.
Wait!  I see you! 
Don’t go!  Please . . . need . . . want . . . desire . .
Fading . . .

Struggling with matters of the heart
 . . . is fading . . .
you will be gone soon.
Unless all of this can . . . STOP . . . STOP!

Now alone, I have the healthiest thought.
The memories are good…
Even without you here.

I have reached—STATE OF AWARENESS!
Acceptance.
Of all follies and strengths.

WHAT WE ARE—TOGETHER YET ALONE.

And I am all right.
Free to begin again . . . alone.